I'd like to...
I'm struggling, friends. I don't know what to do. I want to curl up and cry really but that isn't practical. I'm still on my anti-depression meds - I forget them a lot but catching back up and feeling better now. Anxiety meds are on tap and using only half what is prescribed except when I need them. The two issues are - my husband is incredibly worried for me and son, and basically panics every time I have to go to work, no matter how careful I am, and my step-son, who is descending into a depression the likes of which I was at the brink of but never fell all the way in. And I'm the "Strong one" - Hah!
How to keep him on the level without attempting something drastic (see earlier mention of familiarity with Phoenix Psychiatric facilities). How to still do my job while not putting my husband in a stressful mode? How to deal with daily challenges without wanting to cry in a ball in the closet, but being unable to for fear of setting off one of the others. Last time I had a chance to cry I couldn't decide to cry or be really angry. I just laid there numbly for ten min then gave up.
I'm balanced on a razor's edge and trying to stay afloat. My psychology meeting are in the main room as my work laptop is my platform and it had no battery until today so future I can get private into my bedroom - that is a relief NOW.
No idea when my med doc - sorry psychiatrist, will check in - can't remember the last time we talked.
What is working for you?
Side notes, many at work have been tested due to exposure. One friend/spouse of friend has died - still processing. Really want to just cry in a corner but ! Essential worker! Yay... Sigh. I need a hug - hubby is great but need more.
Miss you all...
